Who moved my cheese?

Reflection for Wednesday 26 August

Good morning.

A few years ago I read a book on the topic of Motivation called, “Who Moved My Cheese?” by Dr Spencer Johnson. (No, for the cynics out there, it was not the last book that I read!) It focuses on the way in which we entrench ourselves into our comfort zones as we move through life and how resistant we can become to change.

Now, this is understandable to some extent since we all have aspirations and these can influence our priorities – which become habits. This can be good! After all, being a habitually positive person should be good. Where the wheels fall off, though, is when we have to share our space and habits with other equally motivated people who may not have the same priorities. And THEY move OUR cheese!

I was chatting to a counselling psychologist the other day and he mentioned that he has never been so busy since the lockdown began. And the reason? Marriage problems! Couples, some of whom have been married for many years, suddenly find that they have to change/adapt to the reality of living 24 hours a day in the same space together. The domestic help is probably still away so all sorts of things have suddenly arrived in the middle of the day where they didn’t exist before. And whose job takes precedence? Just don’t touch my cheese!!!

Making sacrifices doesn’t have to be unpleasant. I, for one, have learnt how to use the dishwasher(!) and my culinary skills (although still a work in progress) have been well used. We can adjust our mindset and we definitely need to consider the others who share our living space more than ever before.

When couples exchange their marriage vows, they say, “I take you to be my wife/husband…” Some might think that this implies possessing the other! But NO!!! It would be more accurate to say, “I GIVE myself to be your wife/husband.” This brings out the reality that love is all about giving – unconditionally and without counting the cost – not about taking.

Please seek wise counsel if you are going through any crisis of this kind. The archdiocese uses a programme called Retrouvaille which caters for couples who might need such help. Our parish contact couple is Peter & Moya van der Linde. Please contact them at 0716806509 or 0722702836.

God bless and stay safe. Dc Mike & the team.

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